It’s been one of those days! Todays been a catch-up, with crappy weather thrown in. Right now I’m in transition from sorting out all the work I’ve done over the past week to getting ready to a very different few days. Most of the day’s been spent editing pictures or sorting out my kit for the forthcoming ‘3 Peaks by Rail’ and holiday in Pembrokshire immediately afterwards. Plus, I’ve got to get the cottage ready for our house-sitters, Can someone please invent a 48 hour day?

Whilst all this has been going on I’ve been trying to keep one eye on the Tory party election circus which descended into dreamworld at an early stage and it’s never going to recover. The fact the Conservatives are reduced to having to choose between such a shower of shite says a lot about the nature of UK politics right now. Not that Labour has anything to crow about. What this country’s desperately looking for is a credible Government in waiting. That’s not ‘Magic Grandad’ and his crew. We’re caught between a rock and a hard place.

But back to the Tories.

The remaining 10 candidates have spent the past 24 hours laying out their stalls. Problem is, they’re bare of anything other than unicorns. The overwhelming majority of them are intellectually bereft snake-oil salesmen, but the fight between them is getting vicious. This isn’t people with a vision for the country, this is all about personal aggrandisement and to hell with everyone else. There’s only one person whom I’d class as anything different from the pack and that’s Rory Stewart, but even he remains wedded to the fiction that he can deliver a positive Brexit.

Meanwhile, the rest of them are still selling unicorns. Leadsom’s made the same tactical error as May did and is talking about ‘Red Lines’. Gove pretends he can renegotiate Teresa May’s agreement, despite the EU making it crystal clear that a change of Tory leaders changes nothing, so what bit of ‘no’ don’t you understand? They’ve pointed out that a change of personnel changes nothing

Then we have Boris Johnson, who is allegedly the Tory party ‘favourite’. Yep, the Tories are so screwed they’re considering electing a man who was twice sacked for lying as their leader and the next Prime Minister. This is how deeply fucked-up UK politics is right now. The man has now claimed that he’ll take ‘personal responsibility’ for Brexit job losses. The interview is a classic of intellectual vacuity. I’m sure that it will be great comfort to all those who’ll lose their jobs that Johnson’s taken ‘responsibility’. Just don’t try knocking on his door asking for your dole money…

I’ve been looking at the European election results this morning and the various claims and counter-claims about what they mean.

Here’s what they mean. We as a country are screwed.

The turnout was appalling at 37% (even though this was a 1.4% increase on the last time). The majority of people either couldn’t be arsed to vote or decided not to.

Over 5 million people voted for Farage’s looney tunes, for a party with no policies and serious questions over how it was funded and by whom. I mean, seriously?

Labour have had their arses kicked (yet again) but ‘Magic Grandad’ and his coterie still haven’t got the message. They’re still trying to face both ways and maintain the fiction of their “jobs first” Brexit. Seamus Milne has Corbyn superglued to the top of that fence he’s sitting on. But look at the results in Corbyn’s own constituency.

The Tories have also had their arses kicked but they’ll go on to elect a new leader who will pursue a no deal Brexit.

The Lib-Dems and Greens have done well, but what will it change? Nothing.

The only thing to take solace from is that racist little shit Yaxley Lennon (aka ‘Tommy Robinson’) was humiliated and lost his £5,000 deposit and the odious leader of UKIP, Gerard Batten, lost his seat as an MEP.

But that’s it.

We are no nearer to coming out of this nightmare. The Brexitshambles rolls on and it’s clear a lot of people still believe in Unicorns, despite the evidence of the past 3 years. I can’t imagine many people in the business sector are feeling happy about this either, so I expect to see the continuing uncertainty leave to more companies leaving the UK, along with EU nationals who’ve just had enough of a country that’s becoming more racist and inward looking. The Tories will continue to cling to the fiction that they can turn a lie into reality and that they can deliver on the false promises that were made during the Brexit referendum. Neither they nor Labour will tell the truth and be honest with the country about what Brexit means, nor will they address the criminality that took place during the referendum campaign. The lies and the pretence roll on, as does the next sorry stage in the saga – a Tory Leadership election in la la land…

We woke up this morning to the news that Prime Minister Teresa May has announced she’s standing down on the 7th June, triggering a new leadership election. Her successor will be voted for by the Tory party membership, which (according to the Bow group) has an average age of 72. God help us all, the next leader of the country is going to be decided on by a bunch of retired septuagenarians who will be overwhelmingly white and wealthy – and almost certainly readers of those propaganda sheets, the Daily Mail and Telegraph! We are fucked. Deeply, deeply, fucked.

How deeply we’re fucked can be seen when you realise who the current favourite is, none other than that lying imbecile, Boris Johnson, a man who only has one interest and loyalty in life: himself.

So, our country is about to be led by a man twice sacked for lying and who’s proved himself both lazy and incompetent. A man who was an awful, part time mayor of London that wasted millions on water cannon and garden bridges whilst dreaming up even more vainglorious schemes such as the ‘Boris Island’ airport in the Thames. A man who trashed the UK’s reputation abroad when he was made Foreign Secretary. A man who no foreign leader takes seriously and who who has a history of making racist comments. A man who was one of the prime architects of the whole Brexit shambles. a man without honour or decency, who once helped an old friend arrange for a fellow journalist to be beaten up. This man will likely be our next Prime Minister and crash us out of the EU in yet another of his jolly japes.

God help us all. If only a general election could save us from this as the opposition has a fantastic and charismatic leader who the country can turn to. Oh, wait, Labour’s led by ‘magic Grandad’ Jeremy Corbyn and his coterie of hard leftists like Seamus Milne and John McDonnell.

See? I told you we were fucked.

I really don’t know whether I should laugh or cry at the news that Parliament is so screwed up that it’s not managed to find a way out of the absolute shit-show that’s Brexit tonight. Saying that the lunatics have taken over the asylum doesn’t do it justice as the lunatics have been in charge ever since the result of the Brexit referendum back in 2016. We’re ruled by a significant part of Parliament and the Lords that has absolute shit for brains – and that’s not a party political point. I’m an equal opportunities cynic so I can see MPs (and Lords) from all parties who fit that bill. Some of our elected members – and also Lords appointees – have completely lost the plot. Right now I could really let rip at the cakeism and venal opportunism that infects our Governing bodies. None of them are thinking about what’s best for the country. Instead we’ve been caught up in a perfect storm. We’ve got a Tory party who’ve let an internal brawl over Europe spill into the streets via a flawed and corrupt referendum – and at the same time we have the weakest and most dogmatic Labour leadership in living memory. All of them are playing politics. None of them are doing what’s best for the country. Instead, they’re pretending they can make Unicorns exist. It doesn’t matter if it’s a blue or a red one – all you have to do is believe – and vote for them!

Looking at this utter shambles, and how an old and out of touch (but arrogant) democracy can be so easily reduced to this would actually be a salutary lesson – if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s my country and that of some 66 million other souls. We’re not a banana republic, but that’s what we’re reducing ourselves to. Right now I can’t help thinking that the best thing the EU can do is cut us adrift in the hope that will (eventually) allow common-sense to intrude on a county that clearly is in desperate need of a reality check.

What the events of the past few years have shown is that our political system and the old allegiances are broken. We have nutters to the left of us as well as to the right. all are driven by dogma, not what’s best for the country – and that’s what needs fixing. The old joke that you could stick a red/blue rosette on a pig (depending on the constituency) and it would get elected has come back to haunt us.

Meanwhile, if I were you – I’d keep stockpiling those tinned goods…