After a wonderful few days in Belgium and the sanity of being in a country that’s not tearing itself apart both politically and economically, I’m back in Brexit Britain where the madhouse continues.

The good news? We’re not leaving the EU on October 31st and Johnson’s not going to end up dead in a ditch (appealing as that idea may be to more than a few people). The bad news? In an act of monumental political stupidity, ‘Magic Grandad’ Jeremy Corbyn has given Johnson exactly what he wanted and has agreed to a December general election, claiming that he’s succeeded in getting a ‘no-deal’ Brexit taken off the table. It’s nonsense of course. Instead, he’s now mixed up Brexit (but no second referendum) with a general election. A general election he cannot win. What the fall-out from this will be is incalculable, as the old political tribal allegiances have completely broken down. All we do know is that there’s going to be a lot more MPs around that won’t be from either the Tory or Labour party. My sincere hope is that Corbyn’s just signed his own political death-warrant, but the problem is the collateral damage to the country his decision to agree to an election could cause.

Make no mistake, this is going to be a very nasty campaign. The Brexiters are going to throw everything at winning this and getting their ultimate aim, a no-deal Brexit, and Corbyn’s just handed them that opportunity. The only thing the rest of us can do now is vote tactically for any anti Brexit candidate who has the best chance of winning. What we also need is for an outbreak of common-sense and willingness to co-operate between the anti Brexit parties so that they don’t split the vote with competing candidates, the way the Brexit party is offering to with the Tories.

Whilst the parties haggle over the exact date of the election (December 9th or 12th) there’s only one thing looking certain, whenever the election is, it’s going to be a rollercoaster night. Many Remainers are sick to the back teeth of Corbyn’s shenanigans and they’ve no trust in the man left at all. At the same time Johnson has made Teresa May actually look competent!

It’s going to be a cold Christmas…

As if three and a half years of putting up with the brexitshambles wasn’t enough! Seeing our once proud country descend into third-world levels of political incompetence and corruption, whilst our two main political parties are run by a coterie of politicians whom you wouldn’t trust to run a bath, never mind a country. Whoever suspected that such an old democracy as our could fall into this state so easily? But that’s complacency and being stuck in the past for you.

Today, we’ve reached peak shambles. The Supreme Court’s 11 judges have unanimously ruled that Boris Johnson’s prorogation of Parliament was unlawful. In a pitiful response, John accused the judges of trying to ‘frustrate’ Brexit – completely forgetting his own narrative that prorogation was absolutely nothing to do with Brexit in the first place. In just a couple of months in office, Johnson’s lost his first six Commons votes in a row, broken the law by suspending Parliament and misled the monarch. Even some die-hard Tories must be wondering how on earth they managed to back someone who is so clearly incompetent, but then they ignored the fact the man was a proven serial liar in the first place. To make matters worse, another scandal has broken over Johnson’s relationship with a former American model, Jennifer Arcuri, when he was Mayor of London – only this time it’s not just about illicit bedroom activities, this is about real allegations of corruption, the abuse of office and also misuse of taxpayers money. This is serious stuff.

Meanwhile, the cult of Corbyn has made a resurgence at the Labour party conference where it’s like a revival of the 1970s. Composite votes that are passed (or not passed, the result kept changing) by a simple show of hands look bizarre in the 21st century. The end result was to pass a Brexit policy that will have Remainers abandoning the Labour party in droves. It was a classic political stitch-up the hard left have practised for years. This wasn’t the longest suicide-note in history, but it was certainly written on the same paper! Anyone thinking Labour may just have been rediscovering a semblance of looking like a party fit for Government has been sadly disabused.

God only knows what our friends in Europe are thinking as they watch this shit-show unfurl. We’re beginning to make Italy look like a model of political stability. Where the hell is this going to end? I have no idea. I’m no lover of Johnson, but even I didn’t think he could be this politically inept. His predecessor, Teresa May, was the first Prime Minister to be found in contempt of Parliament. Johnson’s gone “hold my beer” and has been found to have illegally shut-down Parliament – and misled the Queen! And, he’s still saying he’ll break the law to crash us out of the EU without a deal on October 31st!

The Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow has announced an immediate recall of Parliament. I suspect we’re going to see a lot of angry scenes in the chamber when it is, and I can’t imagine Johnson having anything other than a very rocky ride from all sides of the house. He won’t be able to cope. His lack of attention to detail and the fact he lies so easily (despite the consequences) will ensure that.

We’ve now gone from a fiddled referendum into the brexitshambles and now added a full-on constitutional clusterfuck to the mix – and no-one looks like they’re in any position to pick up the pieces.

Welcome to Britain in 2019.

Remember the days when Parliament used to do something useful, like scrutinise legislation, talk about important things pass legislation and stuff? No. Me neither. For the past three and a half years the place has been turned into a circus thanks to Brexit and the impossibility of delivering the lies it was based on whilst still pretending the Unicorns are real, if only we just ‘believed’ harder. Now we have paralysis in Government, where billions of pounds have been wasted trying to deliver the undeliverable and prepare for the unthinkable – a ‘no deal’ Brexit. Now the tragi-comedy has entered a new phase with the appointment of the bouffant buffoon as Prime Minister. He’s transformed the Cabinet in to a Brexiters wet-dream. It’s packed with hardliners and he’s surrounded by the ‘great minds’ of the Leave campaign. But he has one huge and insurmountable problem. He can’t make a lie true.

Brexiters never had a plan. They never expected to win, so they never thought they’d need one. They’ve spent decades dreaming about leaving the EU but never worked out a plan to make a success of doing so if they ever got the chance. Now they have, and it’s a shambles and it’s getting worse.

Brexiters always loved blaming other people to cover up for the lack of a plan. The latest wheeze was to say Brexit couldn’t be delivered because a ‘Remainer’ (Teresa May) was in charge and ‘remainers’ held cabinet posts. It was all bollocks of course, and how big a pair of cojones it was is becoming painfully obvious as Johnson flounders. His only successes have been to alienate many in his own party, start #StopTheCoup demonstrations the length and breadth of the country and make Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour front bench start to look vaguely electable. Who would have thought that we would see former Tory ‘Big Beast’ and Father of the House, Ken Clark MP thrown out of the Tory party, not to mention Winston Churchill’s grandson, Sir Nicholas Soames? Meanwhile, other moderate Tory MPs like Justine Greening have announced they’re standing down at the next election. In his overweening personal ambition, Johnson’s turned the Tory party into the Brexit party. His only ambition is to win an election before the car-crash that is a no-deal Brexit hits. Could he still do it? Possibly. The fat lady’s not yet sung and the farce continues in Parliament throughout today.

Yesterday parliament defeated Johnson and voted to take control of proceedings. Today there will be a vote to take a no-deal Brexit off the table and extend article 50 until January. Johnson wants to call an election now, but he needs a 2/3 majority of MPs to allow it. I can only pray they vote for the former and reject the latter. Let Johnson own his mess. He fell apart in Parliament last night. His normal comedy act and blithe lies don’t play well in Parliament. One of the MPs who exposed him for what he is was the former Tory Chancellor, Philip Hammond, who neatly skewered Johnson with his own lie that talks with the EU were ‘progressing’ and he’d be able to deliver a new deal. To add to the farce, as he was speaking, his Parliamentary majority in the shape of Dr Philip Lee MP got up, walked across the floor of the house and joined the Lib-Dem benches. It was a wonderful moment to watch!

There’s a sense that even some of those who backed Johnson are now starting to realise that he’s unfit for office. His performance last night was not one of a leader nor a statesman. He was woeful. He blustered, he lied and he refused to answer straight questions. It didn’t get any better, The oleaginous Jacob Rees Mogg provoked both fury (and later mirth) for the contemptuous way he draped himself across the Tory front bench. Here’s one of the wits responses on Twitter earlier today!

Sometime late this evening the next chapter of this farce will close, hopefully with a vote that will agree to take a ‘no-deal’ Brexit off the table. But that’s not the end of the story. Not by a long chalk. This shambles is going to drag on for years yet. This is just volume 1. At this rate it could compete in size with the Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Even if/when we leave the EU, we have years of trying to make good the damage to our economy, our ability to trade, our world standing and our fractured country. Is it any wonder more and more people are wanting to leave? Not the EU, but the UK…