We woke up this morning to the news that Prime Minister Teresa May has announced she’s standing down on the 7th June, triggering a new leadership election. Her successor will be voted for by the Tory party membership, which (according to the Bow group) has an average age of 72. God help us all, the next leader of the country is going to be decided on by a bunch of retired septuagenarians who will be overwhelmingly white and wealthy – and almost certainly readers of those propaganda sheets, the Daily Mail and Telegraph! We are fucked. Deeply, deeply, fucked.

How deeply we’re fucked can be seen when you realise who the current favourite is, none other than that lying imbecile, Boris Johnson, a man who only has one interest and loyalty in life: himself.

So, our country is about to be led by a man twice sacked for lying and who’s proved himself both lazy and incompetent. A man who was an awful, part time mayor of London that wasted millions on water cannon and garden bridges whilst dreaming up even more vainglorious schemes such as the ‘Boris Island’ airport in the Thames. A man who trashed the UK’s reputation abroad when he was made Foreign Secretary. A man who no foreign leader takes seriously and who who has a history of making racist comments. A man who was one of the prime architects of the whole Brexit shambles. a man without honour or decency, who once helped an old friend arrange for a fellow journalist to be beaten up. This man will likely be our next Prime Minister and crash us out of the EU in yet another of his jolly japes.

God help us all. If only a general election could save us from this as the opposition has a fantastic and charismatic leader who the country can turn to. Oh, wait, Labour’s led by ‘magic Grandad’ Jeremy Corbyn and his coterie of hard leftists like Seamus Milne and John McDonnell.

See? I told you we were fucked.