Remember the days when Parliament used to do something useful, like scrutinise legislation, talk about important things pass legislation and stuff? No. Me neither. For the past three and a half years the place has been turned into a circus thanks to Brexit and the impossibility of delivering the lies it was based on whilst still pretending the Unicorns are real, if only we just ‘believed’ harder. Now we have paralysis in Government, where billions of pounds have been wasted trying to deliver the undeliverable and prepare for the unthinkable – a ‘no deal’ Brexit. Now the tragi-comedy has entered a new phase with the appointment of the bouffant buffoon as Prime Minister. He’s transformed the Cabinet in to a Brexiters wet-dream. It’s packed with hardliners and he’s surrounded by the ‘great minds’ of the Leave campaign. But he has one huge and insurmountable problem. He can’t make a lie true.

Brexiters never had a plan. They never expected to win, so they never thought they’d need one. They’ve spent decades dreaming about leaving the EU but never worked out a plan to make a success of doing so if they ever got the chance. Now they have, and it’s a shambles and it’s getting worse.

Brexiters always loved blaming other people to cover up for the lack of a plan. The latest wheeze was to say Brexit couldn’t be delivered because a ‘Remainer’ (Teresa May) was in charge and ‘remainers’ held cabinet posts. It was all bollocks of course, and how big a pair of cojones it was is becoming painfully obvious as Johnson flounders. His only successes have been to alienate many in his own party, start #StopTheCoup demonstrations the length and breadth of the country and make Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour front bench start to look vaguely electable. Who would have thought that we would see former Tory ‘Big Beast’ and Father of the House, Ken Clark MP thrown out of the Tory party, not to mention Winston Churchill’s grandson, Sir Nicholas Soames? Meanwhile, other moderate Tory MPs like Justine Greening have announced they’re standing down at the next election. In his overweening personal ambition, Johnson’s turned the Tory party into the Brexit party. His only ambition is to win an election before the car-crash that is a no-deal Brexit hits. Could he still do it? Possibly. The fat lady’s not yet sung and the farce continues in Parliament throughout today.

Yesterday parliament defeated Johnson and voted to take control of proceedings. Today there will be a vote to take a no-deal Brexit off the table and extend article 50 until January. Johnson wants to call an election now, but he needs a 2/3 majority of MPs to allow it. I can only pray they vote for the former and reject the latter. Let Johnson own his mess. He fell apart in Parliament last night. His normal comedy act and blithe lies don’t play well in Parliament. One of the MPs who exposed him for what he is was the former Tory Chancellor, Philip Hammond, who neatly skewered Johnson with his own lie that talks with the EU were ‘progressing’ and he’d be able to deliver a new deal. To add to the farce, as he was speaking, his Parliamentary majority in the shape of Dr Philip Lee MP got up, walked across the floor of the house and joined the Lib-Dem benches. It was a wonderful moment to watch!

There’s a sense that even some of those who backed Johnson are now starting to realise that he’s unfit for office. His performance last night was not one of a leader nor a statesman. He was woeful. He blustered, he lied and he refused to answer straight questions. It didn’t get any better, The oleaginous Jacob Rees Mogg provoked both fury (and later mirth) for the contemptuous way he draped himself across the Tory front bench. Here’s one of the wits responses on Twitter earlier today!

Sometime late this evening the next chapter of this farce will close, hopefully with a vote that will agree to take a ‘no-deal’ Brexit off the table. But that’s not the end of the story. Not by a long chalk. This shambles is going to drag on for years yet. This is just volume 1. At this rate it could compete in size with the Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Even if/when we leave the EU, we have years of trying to make good the damage to our economy, our ability to trade, our world standing and our fractured country. Is it any wonder more and more people are wanting to leave? Not the EU, but the UK…

It’s been a quiet Sunday for the pair of us, although we did pop out for lunch with Dawn’s parents and Jo Cullinane, the mother of Dawn’s late sister-in-law, Joanne. We ate at 315 restaurant, just outside Huddersfield where we had an enjoyable Sunday lunch and a catch-up as we hadn’t seen Jo since the wedding.

I even indulged in something I only eat once in a blue moon, Cheese! I don’t have it at home as Dawn’s allergic to it.

In contrast, this evening’s been spent pottering around at home, whilst I’ve been pondering the coming political storm that will break next week.

Barring a miracle, it looks like serial liar Boris Johnson will be anointed the next Tory leader and Prime Minister. Before he takes office on Thursday there will be a series of Ministerial resignations, including the Chancellor, Philip Hammond. How many others is open to question. There’ll also be a series of high profile members announcing that they’re leaving the Tory Party.

Expect the pound to take a beating on the currency markets and don’t be in the least surprised if the stock market takes a hit too. This is just the start of a long decline in the country’s future, as well as the Tory party. Of course, some Brexiters will be cock-a-hoop at the idea one of theirs is now Prime Minister. But that’s where their problems start. Brexiters have long used the excuse that Brexit has never happened because there’s been a Remainer in charge. It was always a feeble excuse as May appointed Arch Brexiters David Davis and Liam Fox to her Cabinet – as well as Boris Johnson (amongst others). But with May replaced by Johnson, their excuse will have evaporated. So who are they going to blame now? Because it doesn’t matter who’s PM, they can’t make Unicorns real. The lies will remain lies. There is no Brexit alchemist who can turn lies into truth, especially that blond buffoon Johnson, who’s about to discover that you might be able to bullshit and bluster as a part-time Mayor of London but this is the big time now. To my mind, the only question is how long he can hang on to office before even the most die-hard Brexiter realises it’s not going to the (non-existent) plan, everything turns to ratshit and we end up with a general election.

Sadly for the country, there’s no dynamic Labour party waiting in the wings to stride in and right the mess the Tories are about to inflict on us as their civil war is re-ignited and taken to new levels. ‘Magic Grandad’ Jeremy Corbyn is too weak, too embroiled in anti-Semitism and too tied up in his own dogmatic refusal to oppose Brexit. We’re about to enter a shit-storm of potentially epic proportions. The journalist Jonathan Lis has summed up the situation in this excellent article.

The country is being failed by its two main political parties, neither of whom is fit to govern. meanwhile, the fascists are on the rise with their simplistic populism and list people to blame for the mess were in. Not on that list are the real culprits, themselves and the billionaires, media moguls and spivs who fund and back them. We are living in very dangerous times and next week will start to show just how dangerous it could get. meanwhile, the rest of us will suffer the consequences of a country whose economy is being ruined by dogma and whose friends abroad are looking on with growing incredulity, incomprehension and concern.

I’m afraid the old Chinese curse ‘may you live in interesting times’ has been invoked.