I really don’t think UK politics can get any more surreal. The origins of the Brexitshambles and the manipulated referendum that kicked it all off were in a Tory party brawl that spilled out onto the streets. The Conservatives have always been split over Europe and the headbangers in their Eurosceptic wing have been a thorn in their side for years. David Cameron bought them off with the referendum – and we all know how well that went!

Since then we’ve had two and a half years of the Brexit headbangers living in a different world to the rest of us. One where no claim was too outrageous and no lie too big to tell. Now we’re coming to the endgame. They never could deliver a single one of their promises, instead they blamed everyone else for the failure to deliver a ‘pure’ Brexit. In that respect the Brexit fundamentalists share the same ideological purity (and total inability to deliver) as the hard-left.

Meanwhile, we’ve wasted two and a half years whilst they try and deliver the undeliverable. All the bluster about ‘take back control’ and ‘they need us more than we need them’ has been exposed for what it always was – English arrogance. The EU has remained united and stuck to its principles.

Now we’ve come to the end game. The deal on the divorce from the EU and one of those burning issues that the Brextremists always dismissed as ‘Project fear’ – the Irish border question – hence the backstop. The Brextremists hate May’s deal because it exposes what the rest of us always knew: leaving the EU makes us a rule-taker, not a rule-maker. All their bluster about ‘sunny uplands’, no ‘downsides’ and how easy it would all be was just a pack of lies – and now those lies have been exposed. Here’s a few of them.

So, the shambles deepens. Teresa May has managed to negotiate a divorce settlement with the EU but it’s painfully obvious to most sensible people that it’s a worse deal than we had. Truth is –  it was always going to be as there are no Brexit Unicorns. But that doesn’t stop the Brexit fundamentalists making their excuses and pretending ‘we’ could have got a better deal if one of them had been PM. May knew she was going to lose the vote on the deal, so cancels it at the last moment. Funny, isn’t it? Apparently, she’s allowed to change her mind all the time, but we’re not allowed to change ours by being given the opportunity to vote in a second referendum on the details of the deal/no deal!

So, what are the Tories about to do now – according to media reports? Stage a fucking leadership contest, that’s what! The UK is like the Titanic, it’s heading straight for a frigging Iceberg, so what do they decide to do – fight over who gets to hold the wheel!

Never has a developed nation been so ill-served by its political classes. Sadly, it’s not just the Tories. ‘Magic Grandad” – otherwise known as the leader of the Labour party is just as culpable in the shit-storm that’s about to hit us as the Government is. It has his tacit support for his own ideological reasons.

If only I could say “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here”…

So, less than 24 hours after the Government supposedly signing off Theresa May’s 500 page draft Brexit deal, the Brexit rats start deserting the sinking ship, first to go: Raab C Brexit, the Brexit Secretary and man who never realised the significance of the port of Dover as a trade route! He was quickly followed by a minor minister responsible for Northern Ireland whom most had never even heard of, Shailesh Vara. An hour later, Work and Pensions Secretary Esther McVey followed.

All of them complained that the deal was a bad deal. No f*****ng shit, Sherlock! There never was going to be a better deal than the one we had and to see them now complaining that (in actual fact) Brexit leaves us with less sovereignty than we had makes my blood boil!

The sight of the Brexit fundamentalists having to admit that the whole shabby process they pushed for will not end up with the sunny uplands they promised would be funny if it wasn’t so serious. The damage these people have done to the country due to their ignorance and obstinacy in refusing to deal with reality is only just starting to become plain. Let’s just remind ourselves of some of the false claims they made.

No ‘downside’ eh? A ‘better deal’ eh? We ‘hold all the cards’? Pfft!

Can you imagine what our European neighbours are thinking of us as they watch this shit-shower unfold? Britain has been brought low by the ignorance and dogmatism of its politicians, the manipulations of media moguls, billionaires, and spivs carrying Belizean diplomatic passports – plus English arrogance and the insane belief that somehow we were special and these things only happened to foreigners. Meanwhile, there’s several million EU nationals living in the UK (and vice versa) living their lives in complete uncertainty.

How this complete shambles will play out over the next few days and weeks is anyone’s guess. May’s deal is so much waste paper now. It’s  been binned along with Britain’s standing in the world. meanwhile, the clock continues to tick. We’ve wasted two and a half years as our politicians argue and manoeuvre amongst themselves. Or, in the case of the Leader of the Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, go missing entirely.

Britain is about to be served a very large slice of humble pie and the really stupid thing is – we baked it ourselves.

This country is deeply, deeply screwed. Here’s the man in charge of negotiating Brexit admitting that he didn’t understand the significance of Dover. Presumably the existence of the English Channel (which has been around for the past 10,000 years) was dismissed as ‘Project Fear’ by him and the other hardline Brexit supporters. Watch the car crash here.

This is the level of intellect and understanding we’re seeing from Brexit supporters. It would be bad enough if this was just some bloke on the street. It’s not, It’s a Government Minister for God’s sake. Can you imagine the laughter this is going to provoke on the other side of that stretch of water Raab was clearly unaware of the significance of? Or in capitals around the world. Brexit has made the UK a laughing stock and it’s time we woke up to that fact. English arrogance is going to be our undoing…

This morning I woke up to the news that the Minister charged with leading us out of the EU, one David Davis, has resigned only a short while after the weekend at Chequers when the Government was meant to ‘unite’ around a negotiating position for Brexit. The cynic in me wonders if Davis, the man whom Dominic Cummings once described as “thick as mince, lazy as a toad and as vain as Croesus” couldn’t face the walk down the Chequers drive if he resigned then and had his Ministerial car taken off him.

To say that Brexit is a shambles is being kind. Shambles? It’s a train crash! After 2 years the Government managed to hammer out an agreement amongst itself that didn’t survive a weekend. What’s even more stupid is that agreement was never going to be acceptable to the EU, as the EU made clear years ago!

Meanwhile, whilst those determined to drag to UK over the edge of a hard Brexit cliff play out their games, more and more businesses warn of the consequences (the latest being Philips). What’s should be blindingly obvious by now is that – despite agitating for over 30 years for us to leave the EU, none of these Brextremists had a workable plan. When they finally (narrowly) got their wish, they hadn’t got the faintest clue what what to do next. Their only ‘plan’ is for the country to commit economic suicide by crashing out of the EU without a deal and then blaming the EU!

The arrogance and hollowness of the Brextremists claim that “they need us more than we need them” is plain. Not a single one of their claims has come to pass. The EU hasn’t blinked (it was never going to). Their threat to leave without a deal was always crass stupidity, the equivalent of pointing a shotgun at your own foot and saying “If you don’t give me what I want, I’ll pull the trigger. I’m serious!”

Meanwhile, the rest of us are caught up in this political (and economic) farce of epic proportions. Yet many people seem completely unaware of the consequences and dangers. They’re bored with Brexit. They just want the Government to “get on with it”, without having the faintest clue what ‘it’ is. Never has political apathy been so dangerous.