I really don’t think UK politics can get any more surreal. The origins of the Brexitshambles and the manipulated referendum that kicked it all off were in a Tory party brawl that spilled out onto the streets. The Conservatives have always been split over Europe and the headbangers in their Eurosceptic wing have been a thorn in their side for years. David Cameron bought them off with the referendum – and we all know how well that went!

Since then we’ve had two and a half years of the Brexit headbangers living in a different world to the rest of us. One where no claim was too outrageous and no lie too big to tell. Now we’re coming to the endgame. They never could deliver a single one of their promises, instead they blamed everyone else for the failure to deliver a ‘pure’ Brexit. In that respect the Brexit fundamentalists share the same ideological purity (and total inability to deliver) as the hard-left.

Meanwhile, we’ve wasted two and a half years whilst they try and deliver the undeliverable. All the bluster about ‘take back control’ and ‘they need us more than we need them’ has been exposed for what it always was – English arrogance. The EU has remained united and stuck to its principles.

Now we’ve come to the end game. The deal on the divorce from the EU and one of those burning issues that the Brextremists always dismissed as ‘Project fear’ – the Irish border question – hence the backstop. The Brextremists hate May’s deal because it exposes what the rest of us always knew: leaving the EU makes us a rule-taker, not a rule-maker. All their bluster about ‘sunny uplands’, no ‘downsides’ and how easy it would all be was just a pack of lies – and now those lies have been exposed. Here’s a few of them.

brexit lies

So, the shambles deepens. Teresa May has managed to negotiate a divorce settlement with the EU but it’s painfully obvious to most sensible people that it’s a worse deal than we had. Truth is –  it was always going to be as there are no Brexit Unicorns. But that doesn’t stop the Brexit fundamentalists making their excuses and pretending ‘we’ could have got a better deal if one of them had been PM. May knew she was going to lose the vote on the deal, so cancels it at the last moment. Funny, isn’t it? Apparently, she’s allowed to change her mind all the time, but we’re not allowed to change ours by being given the opportunity to vote in a second referendum on the details of the deal/no deal!

So, what are the Tories about to do now – according to media reports? Stage a fucking leadership contest, that’s what! The UK is like the Titanic, it’s heading straight for a frigging Iceberg, so what do they decide to do – fight over who gets to hold the wheel!

Never has a developed nation been so ill-served by its political classes. Sadly, it’s not just the Tories. ‘Magic Grandad” – otherwise known as the leader of the Labour party is just as culpable in the shit-storm that’s about to hit us as the Government is. It has his tacit support for his own ideological reasons.

If only I could say “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here”…