, ,

Just when I’m thinking the remaining anti HS2 protesters can’t make themselves any more ridiculous with their outlandish claims and piss-poor performances, they say “hold my beer” (shouldn’t that be ‘cheap cider’? Ed)…

The latest, almost Pythonesque, farce at Denham Country Park started in the early hours of Monday morning when the protesters erected a bamboo and rope tower in the river in order to stop contractors working for National Grid from running out a temporary bridge across it. Thinking themselves terribly cunning, they arranged for an old 1990s roads protest ‘star’ – Daniel Hooper, (better known as ‘Swampy’) – to perch in the structure as a way of attracting the media attention they desperately crave. Sadly for the protesters their plan wasn’t that ‘cunning’ at all. What they seemed to have overlooked is that ‘Swampy’ is famous for failing to stop anything. He failed at Twyford Down in the 90s and more recently at Jones’ Hill wood earlier this year. He maintained that record today!

Despite the protesters claims that they’d built the ‘beacon’ (as they pompously called it) in secrecy, the contractors and security staff just ‘happened’ to have a long reach elevated work platform on-hire on the opposite bank of the river. This morning contractors, security and police swooped and ‘Swampy’ was taken down and arrested by lunchtime – much to the obvious chagrin of the protesters who’d been boasting this stunt was going to ‘stop’ HS2! As usual, the event played out on social media. The protesters had shaken every bush and tree for miles to get bodies there and still only managed to attract a handful who posed no threat to the large numbers of security and police who were in attendance. The mix of middle-class Nimbys, crusty ‘eco-warriors’ and waifs and strays more interested in getting pissed on cheap cider was a sight to behold! Here’s a few screen-grabs from Twitter and Facebook to give you a flavour.

Early on HS2Rebellion posted this preposterous hostage to fortune…

So ‘impossible’ that Swampy had been taken down and nicked by 13:00 today and the bridge push continued without interruption! As for ‘secret’, well, HS2Rebellion do have a reputation amongst some other protesters for allegedly colluding with the police. Still, I’m sure it was pure co-incidence that the contractors had hired in a long-reach elevated platform and had it ready on the other side of the river!

Here’s where the protesters plans all started to go a bit ‘Pete Tong’ as the handy elevated platform swung into action!

It wasn’t long before two Officers descended from the cradle on ropes and soon had Swampy ejected from the ‘beacon’ and brought down into the waiting arms of their colleagues below. A few minutes later after removing Hooper’s possessions the ‘beacon’ was unceremoniously tipped on its side and removed, allowing the bridge push to continue this afternoon.

This one is particularly hilarious! This is almost Trumpian in its pretense that black is white and that this shambolic effort was actually a ‘victory’, but then ole ‘Boots’ is from the USA…

Regular readers may remember William from some of his previous hilarious utterances which earned him a place in my ‘crazy campaigner of the week’ feature. Quite how ‘Swampy’ fits into the description of “normal UK people” is another mystery.

If you want to grab some popcorn and watch the farce play out you can find it on the Denham ‘protection’ camp Facebook Page. I’d recommend doing it with the sound turned off/down as the commentaries range from the profane to the inane – along with lashings of propaganda. My ‘Bullshit bingo’ card filled up in a few minutes as all the buzz words were wheeled out in quick succession. “Ecocide”? Tick, “Illegal”? Check. “Assaulted”? Got it! “Polluting Aquifers”, Yep!

Meanwhile, just a few miles down the road, the final fleet of the 300 lorries bringing the two tunnel boring machines (TBMs) from Germany that would be digging the Chiltern tunnels had already arrived unopposed!

Somehow, I don’t think there’s going to be much carousing around the campfires in the remaining ‘protection’ camps tonight – unlike the worksite canteens where the HS2 contractors will be having a warm and looking forward to the overtime payments appearing in their pay-packets!

As more and more protesters give up and head off home or other causes (knowing this one’s lost) I wonder how much longer this farce will drag out? After all, there’s only going to be one outcome – despite what certain deluded Americans try and claim!

MeanwhileI’ve a favour to ask…
If you enjoy reading this blog, please click on an advert or two. You don’t have to buy anything you don’t want to of course (although if you did find something that tickled your fancy that would be fab!), but the revenue from them helps to cover some of the cost of maintaining this site – and right now (because of Covid), us freelances need all the help that we can get. Remember, 99% of the pictures used in my blogs can be purchased as prints from my other website –  https://paulbigland.zenfolio.com/