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I don’t often have a moan, but today’s an exception. The Platt family and I have decamped to Tilford in Surrey for a few days (for reasons I’ll explain in a blog another time). Leafy Surrey, part of the stockbroker belt, within easy reach of London and part of the affluent South-East is somewhere you’d expect to have excellent wifi and mobile phone coverage, wouldn’t you? The opposite is true. It’s universally crap.

The house where we’re staying is in a mobile phone blackspot. I’m on O2 and can get a signal much of the time. My wife and her parents are on EE and their phones are useless. They can’t get anything. It’s the same story a few miles up the road at my wife’s brothers, only there I can’t get a phone signal either!

As for wifi, what a joke. I’m currently sat in the Barley Mow pub in Tilford, trying to upload pictures to my website, but I might as well be in the Outer Hebrides. The wifi can’t cope. I only came here because I couldn’t upload them at the family home (the signal kept dropping out). It’s not just Tilford either. I’d tried to upload pictures using the wifi in a pub in Farnham earlier. I managed one picture at a time before I lost the connection.

No wonder Britain is becoming a bit of an international joke for the quality of its infrastructure. If I can’t get a decent ‘phone & wifi connection in Surrey for Chrissake! The irony is that back in West Yorkshire I have an excellent communications network and my Virgin wifi is blinding. The upshot is that I couldn’t live here and do my job. Things are better than here in the Far North of Scotland. I’ve travelled by train from Inverness to Wick on a wifi fitted train. I can’t do that here in Surrey either!

Someone, somewhere needs to get a grip…