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My friend ‘Skimbleshanks’ has sent me this gem. Poetry corner is looking like it’s going to be a regular feature!

Windbag Music
With apologies to Louis Macneice

It’s no go the anti-mob, it’s no go the Nimby’s,
Half the time they’ve pants afire, their arguments are flimsy.

Prof McNaughton went to town, spoke to the Committee,
Rukin twisted what he said, just made himself look silly,
Joey tried to spin a tale, of trains per hour at Runcorn,
But even Wharf and Weston know a loser when they see one.

It’s no go Stop HS2, it’s no go the Alliance,
Because of Rukin’s porky-pies they are no more affianced.

Wellings then re-tweeted Joe, had a gipsy’s warning,
Wouldn’t dare another go at tweeting his outpourings.
So he teamed up with Transport Watch, called down the mummy’s curses,
They hate the railways so much they’d turn them into buses.

Tett and Gillan looked at that, didn’t like the answer,
Good enough for you and me, but not their Chiltern manor!
What can we think, when he don’t know,
What’s Current Price or Present Value?

It’s no go for 51M, it’s no go for Stokesy,
‘Cos you can’t add trains at Milton Keynes by adding seats to Glasgow.

It’s no go the IEA, it’s no go B’leeben,
That they’ve no answer to rail growth don’t take much concealing.

It’s no go the Batty Man, it’s no go the brickie,
It’s no go the sour-butt nor the Paper Geordie,
It’s no go the driverless car, it’s no go super Broadband,
If you hang your hat on those you need your head examined.

It’s no go the load factor, it’s no go the PIXC;
Traffic’s growing year on year, HS2 will fix it.
Traffic’s growing day by day, it could go on forever,
Stick your head in the bloody sand but that won’t change the answer.

Skimbleshanks, who is now retiring to sleep on a mailbag by the stove in the Porter’s Room