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A friend has just sent me this. It’s too good not to share with the world so, enjoy!

Joe Rukin told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes;
He hasn’t, from his Earliest Youth,
Had the least Regard for Truth,
And in what’s written by Joe Rukin,
Reality don’t get a look-in.
Now, for his waffle we must pity,
The HS2 Select Committee.
They once, in fact, last Wednesday,
Knowing he’d have much to say,
On things that views are keenly sought on,
Interviewed Prof A McNaughton,
Who set out with alacrity,
The truth about Capacity.
“We can’t have that” cried Rukin J,
And scrambled into print to say,
From Runcorn, Stockport and Wilmslow,
No more London trains would go,
While Coventry would have none left,
And Wolverhampton be bereft,
(Well, actually he went on Twit-ter,
won’t that won’t fit).
But Joe forgot, the silly Clown,
That long ago had been set down,
The service pattern to be run,
By Trains on HS2 (Phase 1),
And what makes Joe sound rather comic,
Is all in “The Case (Economic)
For HS2”, where plain to see,
Is “Trains per hour for Stockport – 3”
Then “Wilmslow – 1”, and “Runcorn – 2”,
And something similar for Crewe.
Well, if that sets Joe’s pants alight,
There’s more – the interesting sight,
Of PFMv4.3,
(Pron. Pee Eff Emm vee 4 point 3),
“Assumptions Report”, which shines a lamp on,
Trains per hour for Wolverhampton,
Now just one to London Town,
But as page 44 sets down,
(And surely this will tickle you),
These will be “cut” from one to TWO!
Lazy journos wanting free
Copy, have a friend in he,
Who only fools those silly men,
The IEA and Beleben.
But by the sensible and learn-ed,
Rukin and his gang are spurn-ed.

Shimbleshanks, with apologies to Hilaire Belloc